Surviving a breakup is reminiscent to mourning the loss of a loved one. You have devoted your time, energy and effort to the idea that the relationship would succeed. It is essential to remember that it is only this relationship you mourn not a total and not the total loss of your hopes and dreams. Your life will go on, just down a new path. You do not have to proceed blindly; there are 5 steps to a breakup that you can anticipate.
The first step is usually denial. You can not believe that the relationship has ended. You are left asking how all of your efforts could amount to nothing. You must remind yourself in this step that sometimes a breakup, no matter how difficult, is really the best outcome.
Try to separate yourself from the emotional aspects and look at the relationship objectively. You will likely be able to accurately identify the fatal flaws in the relationship.
Once the denial fades, likely it will be replaced with anger. This anger can be directed towards yourself, your ex or even the universe in general.. No matter whom you hold responsible, trust that there is no single culprit and angry accusations do not solve any problems. It is best to move forward as soon as possible.
As you work past the anger and hurt associated with the ending of a relationship, you will likely to find yourself falling in love again. It is human nature to suppress the hurtful memories and let the joyful times overshadow the problems of the past. The danger associated is that if you try to rekindle your relationship without facing the root problems, then you will likely find yourself in this situation once more.
True sadness for the loss of your hopes for this relationship will follow. You will mourn what has been as well as what could have been. You may even feel regret for the portion of your life, months or years, that you have dedicated to this relationship.
Try to remind yourself that although things did not work out the way you expected you can always learn and grow from each new experience in life. Use this encounter as a stepping stone for personal growth.
Finally you will arrive on the other side of this breakup at acceptance. Hopefully you will have become a better person for having gone through this journey. Acceptance will allow you to collect the knowledge and self-discovery from this relationship and venture out towards the next relationship, hopefully with better success.
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