Reforming relationships with ex partners is a tricky process, so before you go any further take a moment to think to yourself about what went wrong the first time around, and why this time is going to be any different. It may well be that you are focusing on the positives in the relationship because of your needs, and that is causing you to forget the negatives. Or it may well be that you thought everything was great, but it wasn’t working so well for your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. Either way you need to look at the relationship and work out what went wrong, and work out if it is something that you can fix. If you don’t do this then you are setting off down the same path to a break up once again.
Now there’s two possible situations that ended your relationship last time. Either you called it off or she did. The third option “the mutual decision” is a virtual non existent situation. One partner will always initiate the ‘break up talk’. It’s practically unheard of that two people at exactly the same instant switch from being happy with each other to wanting to end a relationship - unless they just found out they are twins separated at birth, and if that’s the case you probably shouldn’t be putting too much thought into getting back together! How you get back together is going to depend a lot on how you broke up.
If you were the one to call it off, then you are going to have to be very careful about the way you re-approach her. She was most likely very hurt after your relationship ended, so asking her to put herself in that position again is going to be difficult. A girl is going to translate your actions as “I thought I could do better, turns out I can’t, so I guess you’ll do”. That’s not going to work a lot of the time.
If you were the one that called it off, then getting things going again is going to involve some pride swallowing on your part. You need to admit that you were wrong to call it off in the first place. A good way of doing this is to say something along the lines of “You know, I really miss the (insert something she likes here) we used to do.” Depending on her response you have your opening for a new ‘first’ date.
On the other hand, if she was the one that called things off you need to approach things differently. There was something about you, or about the situation, that didn’t make her happy. All you need to do is figure out what that was and change it, and you are half way to winning her back. From there you need her to become aware of the changed situation, re-establish contact, show her how things will be different and then convince her that getting back together is the best thing for both of you.
Get her back now and build a relationship with a bond that can never be broken. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras.